What if I Don’t Feel Close to God?

That truth stopped me in my tracks. Because I have spent much of my life trying to feel close to God. Trying to pray harder, worship louder, study longer. But closeness is not something I can earn. It is something I already have.

When we put our faith in Jesus, we are united with Him permanently and eternally. And yet, we do not always feel that closeness.

Life can be noisy. Responsibilities can be heavy. Grief, disappointment, or sin can weigh us down until it feels like we have lost touch with Him. But Scripture assures us that feelings do not define reality.

Romans 8:38–39 reminds us:

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Nothing can separate you from Him. Not your emotions. Not your doubt. Not your dry seasons.

Still, when our feelings and faith do not line up, it helps to go back to what God whispered to me that night: Confidence. Focus. Perspective.

Each of these holds a piece of the truth that anchors us when we feel far away.

Confidence

When God whispered “Confidence”, I felt a gentle conviction. Not condemnation, but clarity. I realized how often I had been approaching Him with hesitation, like I had to earn the right to feel close to Him.

Hebrews 4:16 says,

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Confidence does not mean arrogance. It means assurance. It means knowing who we are and whose we are. Yet if we are honest, many of us struggle with spiritual insecurity. We may believe God loves us, but deep down, we wonder if He is disappointed. We might think, “Maybe I am not praying enough. Maybe I am not worshiping hard enough. Maybe that is why I do not feel Him.”

But the truth is, our feelings do not determine our nearness to God. Our faith does.

Confidence is choosing to believe that God is as close as He promised, even when He feels silent. It is standing on His Word when emotions shift like the wind. It is reminding our hearts that His presence does not come and go based on how spiritual we feel.

When I lack confidence in my relationship with Him, I start performing instead of resting. I worship harder, pray longer, read more, all good things, but sometimes I do them trying to find Him instead of simply being with Him.

Confidence changes that posture. It reminds us that we do not have to strive to be seen or loved. We already are.

Romans 8:15 (NLT) says,

“So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, ‘Abba, Father.’”

That word Abba means “Daddy.” It is intimate. Personal. Safe. That is how close God invites us to be.

A.W. Tozer once wrote,

“The man who has God for his treasure has all things in One.”

The same is true for every woman who has Jesus. You already have all you need for intimacy because you already have Him.

Sometimes I imagine it like this: a child climbing into her father’s lap after a long, tiring day. She does not have to earn that closeness. She just receives it. That is what confidence in Christ looks like.

When you stop striving and start sitting, when you let His love define you instead of your feelings, you will find that He has been holding you close all along.

Focus

The second word God gave me was “Focus".

Distraction is one of the biggest obstacles to intimacy with God. The world is loud. Our thoughts are scattered. Our schedules overflow. Before we know it, our attention is divided between the sacred and the surface.

I have come to realize how often my mind drifts during worship. Not to sinful things, but to simple ones. What I need to do later. How someone’s voice sounds. Whether people can see that I am not feeling it today.

But in Matthew 6:6, Jesus said,

“When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

That verse is not just about privacy. It is about focus. It is about closing the mental door to everything else so we can give our full attention to the One who deserves it.

Focus takes discipline, but it is also an act of love. When we focus on God, we are saying, “You have my undivided attention. My eyes are on You, even when my emotions are not.”

Proverbs 4:25-27 encourages us,

“Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet. Do not turn to the right or the left.”

When our gaze drifts from God to everything around us, our sense of closeness fades. But when we fix our eyes on Jesus, even ordinary moments become holy ground.

I think of Peter stepping out onto the water in Matthew 14. As long as his focus stayed on Jesus, he walked above the waves. But the moment he looked at the wind and waves, he began to sink.

That is what happens to us too. When our eyes shift from the Savior to the storm, we start to lose our footing. Not because Jesus has moved, but because our focus has.

One of the most powerful prayers we can pray is simple: “Lord, help me fix my eyes on You.”

I imagine hearing the Lord whisper, “I am not hiding from you. You are just looking in every other direction.”

Focus does not mean the distractions disappear. It means we choose where to place our attention despite them.

Perspective

The third word God gave me was “Perspective”.

Perspective is what helps us interpret what is happening when God feels distant. It reminds us that silence does not mean absence and waiting does not mean abandonment.

There are times God withdraws His felt presence, not His actual presence, to deepen our faith. He is teaching us to walk by trust, not by touch.

Second Corinthians 5:7 says,

“For we live by faith, not by sight.”

When I lose perspective, I start assuming distance means disapproval. But when I regain perspective, I see that God is still working, often in ways I cannot perceive yet.

Think of Mary and Martha in John 11. They sent for Jesus when their brother Lazarus was sick, but He delayed His arrival. From their perspective, it looked like He did not care. But Jesus saw the full picture. He was not late. He was setting the stage for resurrection.

Sometimes the “nothing” seasons are actually resurrection seasons in disguise.

God may be quiet, but He is still close. He may seem still, but He is preparing something new. Perspective allows us to rest in the mystery of His timing.

Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us,

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

When we see through the lens of faith, we begin to trust that even when it feels like nothing is happening, something sacred is.

Psalm 34:18 says,

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

He is not waiting for us to feel close before He draws near. He is already near, even when we do not sense it.

When Closeness Does Not Feel Close

There is something beautiful that happens when we stop chasing closeness and start resting in it. When we let go of trying to feel something and simply choose to believe that God is who He says He is.

Our confidence anchors us.
Our focus steadies us.
Our perspective sustains us.

Sometimes we just need to breathe, whisper His name, and let His peace find us right where we are.

When we stop measuring intimacy by emotion and start recognizing it by surrender, we find He has been right beside us all along.

If you are in that space right now, I encourage you to take a quiet moment and pray. Ask Him to renew your confidence, realign your focus, and restore your perspective. And even if you do not feel anything when you pray, know this: God hears you. God sees you. God is with you.