There are some Christmases that don’t feel the way they used to. Everything around us still looks like Christmas. The lights glow. The music plays. The plans move forward. But inside, something feels off. There is a dull ache in the heart that won’t quite lift, no matter how hard we try to feel cheerful.
This is one of those Christmases for me.
There is someone who won’t be with us this year. Not because of distance or loss, but because of brokenness. A disagreement that has created space where closeness used to be. And while I don’t need to share every detail, I need to be honest about the ache it leaves behind.
It doesn’t feel like Christmas the way it usually does.
And maybe you know this feeling too.
The Empty Place Hurts More During the Holidays
Christmas has a way of bringing absence to the surface. It highlights the empty chair. The missing laugh. The traditions that feel incomplete without certain people present.
You can love Jesus deeply and still feel this sadness. One does not cancel out the other.
We sometimes tell ourselves we should be more grateful, more joyful, more focused on the reason for the season. But God never asks us to ignore our pain in order to honor Him.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.”
Psalm 34:18
Not disappointed in us. Not distant. Close.
Jesus Knows What It Is to Lose
Jesus understands what it is to love people who are broken. He knows what it is to be misunderstood, rejected, and hurt by those closest to Him.
When He stood at Lazarus’s tomb, even knowing resurrection was moments away, Scripture tells us,
“Jesus wept.”
John 11:35
Those two words matter. They remind us that sorrow is not weakness. Tears are not failure. Grief does not mean we lack faith. It means we love deeply.
The First Christmas Held Pain Too
We often imagine the first Christmas as peaceful and complete, but it wasn’t.
Mary gave birth far from home. Joseph carried responsibility he never expected. There was uncertainty, vulnerability, and fear woven into the story.
And still, God chose that moment to enter the world.
Jesus came not because the world was ready, but because it was broken.
Choosing to Look to Him, Even With a Heavy Heart
This year, I am choosing to look to Jesus, even though my heart feels heavy.
Not because the pain is gone.
Not because the situation has been resolved.
But because He is my Savior.
Because He is greater than any ache I carry.
Because no broken relationship, no heavy emotion, and no unanswered question is bigger than who He is and His love for me.
“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.”
Hebrews 12:2
There are things I cannot fix. Conversations I cannot force. Healing I cannot rush. But I can rest in the truth that Jesus is steady when everything else feels uncertain, and I can trust Him with what I place at His feet.
Christmas Is Still About Him
This Christmas may feel quiete. Lonely. Broken.
But Jesus is still here.
He came into this world knowing pain would be part of the story. He lived a perfect life we could never live. He gave His life so that our sins could be forgiven. And He rose again so that brokenness would not have the final word.
Because of Him, forgiveness is possible. Healing is possible.
Even when relationships feel fractured, we cling to the hope that God is still writing a greater story.
If Your Heart Feels Tender This Christmas
If someone is missing from your Christmas this year, please hear this.
You are not alone.
You are not failing the season.
You are not disappointing God.
It is okay to feel the ache. It is okay to hold joy and grief in the same breath.
Christmas is not about having a perfect table. It is about a perfect Savior who stepped into an imperfect world and promised to walk with us through it.
He is near.
A Prayer for the Woman Carrying an Ache This Christmas
Jesus,
Thank You for coming into this world for us. Thank You for stepping out of heaven and into our brokenness, for living the perfect life we never could, and for giving Your life so that we could be forgiven and have the hope of spending eternity with You.
Thank You for being our Savior. Thank You for being bigger than every pain we feel and nearer than we sometimes realize.
You see the empty spaces in our hearts this Christmas. You know the names of those we wish we could see around the table. You understand the ache we carry, even when we don’t have the words for it.
We place what is broken into Your loving hands. The relationships that feel strained. The healing we long for. The peace we need but cannot create on our own.
Wrap us in Your presence. Comfort us with Your love. Remind us that You are working even when we cannot see it.
As we celebrate Your birth, help us rest in the truth that You came close, that You stay near, and that nothing we bring to You is beyond Your power to heal.
We love You, Jesus. We trust You with our hearts this Christmas.
In Your precious, life-giving Name, Amen.
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